Murky Clarity

Book Review: "Goodbye, Goddess" by Breanna Teintze

Disclaimer: Breanna is not only a close friend of mine, but also my reviewer/editor/beta reader (and I am her reviewer/editor/beta reader). I helped review and edit several (but not all) of the stories in this anthology. Is my review biased? I try not to review books of people I know, because I know I'll end up hurting their feelings. I tackle the book, not the writer, but when you're in direct communication with the writer...well, you decide for yourself.

 

"Goodbye, Goddess", published in 2011, is a collection of 7 short stories with a total word count of over 37,000 words, making an average of 5,000 words per story. The stories are set in the same secondary world (I still don't know what the name of the world is), which, like most Western Fantasy works, has a definite medieval European vibe. There is magic and polytheism, and there are dragons, things you would expect from a standard Fantasy title.

The anthology opens with "Lucky Day", a story about Rion the Erranter (equivalent to Gypsy) who, thanks to his compulsive gambling, lost his horse and he needs to win--or steal--it back. He gets himself into deeper trouble when he crosses paths with a jinn-wizard. Rion gets nagged a lot, and like most new fathers, doesn't know what he's doing half the time. However, he knows his own nature as a thief and gambler, and uses that very nature to save himself & his family.

"Patron Saint" is about loss and redemption. The main character is angry with the gods and the saints for taking away his fiance. He is angry with himself for serving a corrupt king. In terms of action, nothing much happens until the ending scene, but this story is more of an emotional journey rather than a physical one.

"Moon and Bone" is among the strongest pieces in this collection not just because there's plenty of action and magic. Compared to other stories, this is fast-paced, true. It's a cozy mystery, a whodunit. However, it's the narrative voice that grabs me from the start. Corcoran the wizard is irreverent and snappish, but his voice is so strong that even though the story is told in first-person perspective, you can just tell it's the wizard talking and not you as the reader trying to be in the character's shoes.

"Hunter's Daughter" tells the story of an innkeeper's daughter who sells supplies for dragon hunters. When the hunters end up dying, and the guide (whom she loves) is almost killed, she decides to take matters into her own hand.

"Goodbye, Goddess", easily the longest--and strongest--piece in this collection, tells of the story of a duelist-for-hire who has lost his faith and his will to live. This story explores more about social caste systems in Teintze's world, and her worldbuilding is clearer here compared to other stories.

I'll be honest. I didn't agree to adding "Fool's Errand" to the anthology. For one, it feels like a parody of "Hunter's Daughter". Another, since it's told from the perspective of the town's fool, the storytelling feels trivial, at odds with the more serious undertone of the rest of the book. However, having read and re-read the anthology several times, I can see the wisdom in Teintze's blatant disregard of my advice. This short piece shows her range as a writer, and it also gives a breather. There's nothing slapstick in this story, mind. Maybe she did not manage to execute funny as good as some other authors I know of (Sedaris, anyone?), but still. It doesn't make me like the story any better, but still.

Moving on.

"Finer Points" explores what happens when heroes retire. They become grumpy village-folk who roll their eyes at overconfident adventurers who don't know what's good for them. These heroes end up returning from their retirement to save the day. Unlike "Fool's Errand", where Teintz tries--and fails--to be funny, this story is inherently funny and it shines through. Definitely a solid piece that strengthens the anthology.

Is this anthology the best damn thing that happened since ice cream? Sadly, no. This book was published in 2011, with some of the stories having been written long before that. Teintze has grown exponentially as a writer. She is also brilliant at worldbuilding, but the nature of short stories doesn't allow for her to showcase her ability. The fantastical elements are subdued, and for some Fantasy lovers, this can be a turnoff.

However.

The characters in the stories aren't merely characters. They're people. Living, breathing real people. The women aren't stunning damsels-in-distress, but practical ones in practical garbs who can kill dragons just in time to tidy the house and cook dinner. The dialogs are organic and believable. If read aloud, the entire collection reads smoothly. The prose, though not exactly lyrical, is practical, no-nonsense. Have I mentioned the rich characterization? And the solid, complete story arcs?

The cover, though pretty, could be better. It doesn't quite grab one's attention. The formatting is clean but sparse. Could Teintze have benefited from professional designing & formatting? Perhaps.

Don't let the packaging fool you. As far as content goes, this book is amazing. It shows a promise of a quality author who cares about her craft. If you're looking for stories with strong female characters--I'm not talking about muscle-bound jarheads, but mothers who can easily carry a baby in one hand and a sword in another--then you should give this book a go. If you're looking for stories with brilliant characterization, organic dialogs and satisfying story arcs, then you should give this book a go.

If you're looking for fast-paced, action-packed, gory-filled stories, then this book is not for you. If you're looking for adventure stories, then maybe this book is not for you. I said earlier that this book has what you'd expect of a standard Western Fantasy title, but there's nothing standard about how the author approaches the subgenre.

Honestly speaking, even if I never knew Breanna Teintze as a person, I'll definitely look for more of her stories and/or books. She's that good.

 

You can buy the book at these locations:

Amazon
Smashwords
iTunes
Barnes & Noble

 

Fifty Shades of WHAT THE?!

I originally intended to write a rant about immature authors reacting to in-depth book reviews, but that'll only make me sound defensive & equally immature, and I know I'm better than that. For the record, however, I am not a bitter author whose work has been rejected & in turn looking for blood from other authors. I'm steadily publishing my short stories, and I get solicited for projects by editors & publishers.

Ehem. Moving on.

So. "Fifty Shades of Grey". I heard that you either love it or you hate it. Or that you claim to hate it, but secretly you love it. Yes. You. Don't go shaking your head at me and showing me attitude.

The book, originally a parody fan-fiction of "Twilight", exploded into fame & generated a deluge of other erotica books sold (and read) out in the open. Seriously. Ah Sohs with flaming red hair can be seen holding up paperback copies in the LRT, so selamba reading in front of everyone. However, writers all across the globe are perplexed & indignant by EL James's success. The quality of writing is SO BAD! HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR THE BOOKS TO HAVE GENERATED SALES BY THE MILLIONS?!

Oh, well. I wanted to give the books a try. For research only, mind. I'm not lying so get off my back! At first I couldn't even get through the first few pages. The quality. Is. So. BAD! I left the book alone & picked up better-written Young Adult books. Then I came back & managed slightly farther. Then stopped & picked up better-written Young Adult books.

In the end I gave up on reading the paperback, and decided to try the audiobook. After all, I concentrate on driving while listening to audiobooks. Multitasking. That's how you approach an unapproachable book. Right now I've reached the part where Christian Grey has rescued Anastasia Steele from the drunken clutches of Jose Rodriguez and she's woken up in his hotel room.

Admit it. You know what I'm talking about. Pfft.

Thing is, three chapters in, and I still haven't reached the naughty parts. WHERE ARE THE NAUGHTY PARTS?!

There are a lot of gazes going on here. His gaze. My gaze. He gazes. I gaze. I think I am officially fed up with the word 'gaze'. Remember, folks. Electrifying eye-to-eye contact is a form of foreplay. I think.

Anyway. Back to the issue at hand. Yes, the book is as annoying to listen to as it is to read. That's not the point I want to bring to light right now. It's a particular scene that I have in mind.

The drunken clutches.

Jose Rodriguez is a hunky junior who's into Anna, but she just looks at him as a friend. Upon first contact Christian already knows that Jose is a potential threat. Anna has the hots for Christian right from the start, but her insecurities make her belief that she's nowhere near his league. Clear so far? OK. There's a scene where Anna, her roommate & best friend Kate, and Jose (see how useful the Oxford comma is? I SHALL NOT ABANDON YOU, OH OXFORD COMMA!) go to a bar in Portland to celebrate finishing their final exams. Anna gets drunk, Jose gets drunk, Kate...well, Kate stays hot & sultry. Anna drunk-calls Christian, yada yada yada.

Now here's the important scene: Anna stumbles out of the bar, drunk. Jose follows her, equally drunk. He wants to make sure she's all right. However, being drunk and all, inhibitions are gone & he confesses his feelings for her & goes gropey and stuff. She's still not into him & tries to push him away. Christian comes swooping in, Anna vomits out her entire gastric contents, and Jose jumps away but Christian holds back her hair while she retches onto the street. Still drunk, Anna wants Christian to be physical with her. She doesn't dance, but she still dances with him. She wakes up the next day in her underwear in his hotel room, and gets a little disappointed when she finds out they haven't done the nasty.

See the issue here?

One drunk woman. One drunk man. Drunk woman is not into drunk man. Drunk man is into said drunk woman. He makes his move. He is seen as a jerk. Non-drunk man, who said drunk woman has the hots for, makes his move, and said drunk woman EXPECTS more.

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD PLEASE TELL ME YOU NOTICE THE DOUBLE STANDARDS HERE!

It's not okay for a drunk man to try and overpower a drunk woman, but it's perfectly fine if the guy is hot & the drunk woman is into him? Come on. Women everywhere are fighting for equal rights & respect, but this kind of trash is still sold by the MILLIONS? Women are lapping this up? Just because the hot Christian Grey holds back Anastasia Steele's hair while she vomits, like a gentleman should?

It's not the quality of writing that I have issues with. It's Anastasia Steele. And I'm nowhere near done with the book.

Because I still want to get to the naughty parts.

In all seriousness, though, what I'm saying is that the book is saying that it's OK for a woman to be violated if the man is someone like Christian Grey. It's messed up, isn't it?

Book Review: "Wedding Speech" by Khaliza Khalid

EDIT: I don't believe that there are spoilers without warning here, but to be fair to the author, I've highlighted the possible spoilers in white. Highlight those places using your mouse to see them.

 

“Wedding Speech” by Khaliza Khalid is the fourth title and the third novel published by FIXI NOVO, the English imprint of FIXI. The protagonist, Yusrizan, a bona fide player, is smitten by Kelly right from the start. However, he has difficulty coming to terms with it, and does everything wrong to prevent himself from getting the happy ending he thinks he deserves until the present day where he finally marries her and has to confess all his wrongdoings in his wedding speech.

Or so the story goes.

What I can say about this book is: Man! It is difficult! To. Finish!

The premise has potential. The execution, however, is a train wreck.

 

The story

I’ve summarized the story above without including any spoilers. Yusrizan is an unreliable narrator (it’s a well-used writing technique, by the way) who has fantasy and reality mixed up. The present is rooted around his wedding day, and the narration goes back and forth as he reminisces the past. Unfortunately, Khaliza flails and fails at writing a non-linear timeline, and should have stuck beginning the story with the wedding reception and reveal everything in chronological sequence as Yusrizan ticks off the six items he has to express in his wedding speech.

 

The language

Part of why the back-and-forth narration fails is because Khaliza has her tenses all jumbled up. The present-day scenes are written in the present tense, and the rest of the story is in the past tense. Fair enough. However, especially while in the present, the tenses get mangled and reading becomes a jarring experience. Is this a failure of editing? I don’t know. Maybe.

Technically, the author appears well-versed with writing in English, which is a definite plus. Unfortunately, she appears to be like the character Kelly, who uses big, complicated words to impress anyone who hears/reads the passages, words that in reality do not fit the context. It’s like she pressed ‘Shift+F7’ on Word, looks for the most complicated words to replace the ones she already has. Or she has a paperback thesaurus ready and does the same thing. I might fill in examples from the book, but finishing it the first time has been painful enough.

I’m a firm believer of using strong, concise verbs instead of adverbs, but bombastic words just to show off? I used to do that when I started writing, and I get irritated every time I read my earlier stories.

Oh. Wait. I remember some examples.

1. I literally burst out of the room. Literally means in the literal sense. Did Yusrizal explode? No.
2. “You’ll never guess my true nature, but I have the audacity to leave you breathless.” Out of context. Audacity means willingness to take bold risks, or impudence. What is she trying to say?

The story is told using first-person perspective. A repetitive usage of specific terms is expected. Think about it. We will almost always call at cat ‘cat’ instead of inter-exchanging ‘cat’ with ‘feline’, ‘mouser’, ‘tom’ or ‘tabby’. In this book: no such thing. Yusrizan is fixated with breasts; that much is clear. However, in one page, he uses ‘mounds’, ‘melons’, ‘globes’, ‘breasts’ and some other terms. I’m a guy, and I feel offended, both by the derogatory terms and the clunky handling of language. I’ve read that schoolteachers have this habit of making sure students use as many terms for an object as possible to show how extensive the students' vocabulary is. This book can be made an example of how wrong the schoolteachers are.

Speaking of terms, this book doesn’t shy away from vulgarities, both in actions and the choice of words. Yusrizal doesn’t shy from using multiple terms for breasts (see above), but he calls his dick ‘member’. Come on. No self-respecting guy calls his own dick that. A woman who writes from a man’s point of view does that.

And boy do I have words on the incongruity of points of views (see below).

 

The characters

Yusrizan is an anti-hero. He is a selfish creep, no questions asked. Pulling off a sympathetic anti-hero is tricky, and Khaliza also fails at this. Yusrizan doesn’t change a bit throughout the book. He even uses his own daughter to woo Kelly. He doesn’t care about his daughter at all. He openly talks about his hedonistic lifestyle in front of her, uses foul languages, and does other things a half-decent father shouldn’t. I still can’t get over the fact that he plants his daughter in Kelly’s path solely to win sympathy points without really caring about his daughter’s well-being. WHAT THE HELL.

He also cannot seem to differentiate lust from love. He acts like a dog in heat, then suddenly reminds readers that he’s only using Kelly for financial support. Then he says he loves her, and suddenly reminds readers that he’s only using Kelly for financial support. It’s like the author unravels the story, then goes, “Oh, I need to remind readers that Yus doesn’t really like Kelly. Let me add a sentence to make that clear.”

Oh. By the way. Yusrizan tries to echo Datuk Narcissus from “Kasino” by Saifullizan Tahir, another book by Fixi. Narcissus lives in sin, but prays on time. Yusrizan sleeps around and doesn’t pray, but he has a strict code against consuming alcohol and pork. The reason for the comparison is that Datuk Narcissus is a fully fleshed, believable person, whereas Yusrizan is a half-baked character.

Kelly is also another unbelievable character. She’s all into Yusrizal one moment, and jumps off to concentrate on reading her thesaurus the next. She wants her sister to see that she’s serious about Yusrizal, but when Karr (the sister) physically abuses Yusrizal, she pretends both of them don’t exist. I think the author wants to portray the unreliability of Yusrizal’s narration and memory, but as foreshadowing goes, this one fails miserably.

Karr…well, I almost felt sorry for her, not because of her character, but because of how offensive the author is in portraying her. The terms ‘gorilla’ and ‘mammal’ and ‘hulk’ are used to describe her, and she is mollified by extra Cornetto cones. She has double degrees, one of them being forensics science, but she flies home to Johor Bahru just to wedge herself between the two ‘alleged’ lovebirds. She is merely a plot device that should have been more elegantly executed to create a link between fantasy and reality. As I said, I almost felt sorry for her.

Oh. Get this. Kelly’s full name is revealed at the end of the book. It’s Khaliza. She has written a novel about her relationship with Yusrizal, which has sparked Yusrizal’s unreliable narration in the first place. Khaliza. As in the author’s name. Fiction reflecting reality reflecting fiction? Whatever it is, an author using her own name for a protagonist is a bit too much, don’t you think?

 

The settings

What settings? The book takes place in Johor Bahru and San Francisco, among other places. However, the descriptions of JB is cursory at best, and there is almost no description of other places. There is no sensory employment in the book, really. “Son Complex” by Kris Williamson may have its own set of flaws, but at least Kris uses his settings well. He also knows how to employ all the senses, including touch, hearing, smell and sight.

 

The storytelling

I don’t know if the author sought advice from men on how to portray a believable male protagonist. She should have. Even if she did, she should have. I’m not saying that women cannot write stories from a male’s perspective; no, far from it. More often than not, it’s an educational experience. My friend Breanna writes using male perspectives. She constantly asks her husband, her brother and me about the congruency of her characters, and her research shows. Ursula K Le Guin’s “A Wizard of Earthsea”? Well-rounded male protagonist. John Green’s “The Fault in Our Stars”? BRILLIANT storytelling from a girl’s perspective.

In short, the author should have done a better research on the male psyche. What she has achieved is a stereotypical jackass who’s fixated on breasts.

There are sections where Yusrizan tells the story with intimate knowledge when he’s not there to witness the scenes in the first place. Remember that the story is told in first-person perspective. Yes. I get that the author wants to use this as a plot device, as foreshadow, but come on. Basic rules of narration. Come on.

Toward the end, the story unravels between Yusrizan’s daughter’s point of view and Kelly’s. The daughter’s name: Khaira. He also has a son, whose name is Khairy. Kelly’s sister: Karr. The author: Khaliza Khalid. Yes, yes, it’s a Malay thing to name their children using the same alphabets or alliterations, but in a story?

Back to my point. The scenes toward the ending. Yusrizan is out of the picture, but the story is told in intimate third-person perspectives. I don’t care about plot devices. For a story told exclusively in first-person perspective (Yusrizan’s), suddenly jumping to third-person for the sake of moving the story forward is amateurish, almost as bad as a deus ex machina ending.

Also, the book is told almost exclusively in exposition/narrative summary. Including the dialogs. WHY?! The author has plenty of chances to make the characters real and relatable, but she maintained an unbridgeable distance by not employing immediate scenes. Where are the dialogs?

As for the ending…how do I review the book without spoiling the ending?

Oh, well. Spoiler warning.

I don’t know if you’ve watched “Repo Men”. Not many people appreciate the ending, but to me, it’s one of the better-executed trick endings. The foreshadowing is good, and the execution is brilliant. “Wedding Planner” has an ending akin to “Repo Men”, but the execution is so clumsy that I felt reading the book was a huge waste of my time. To be honest, I only finished reading because I wanted to write a fair, informed review. Another reviewer said this book has a typical FIXI ending. I say this book has a typical Malaysian storytelling ending. The author cares more about appearing smart, thus creating a trick and/or hanging ending, rather than fulfilling a promise made to readers to navigate the story in a satisfying manner.

Still. Man! What a waste of time!

 

Final words

FIXI—and its English imprint FIXI NOVO—has been upfront about publishing pulp fiction. Not books like what Tash Aw and Tan Twan Eng write, but cheap, accessible fiction for all. This is awesome, but let’s face it. “Wedding Planner” is nowhere near ready to be published. Forget the typos. Editing (or lack thereof) is a much more pressing issue. From the awkward timeline transitions, to the flat, unbelievable characterization, to the storytelling loopholes, to the trick ending that could’ve been handled better.

I will still buy books from FIXI NOVO in hopes of discovering local gems, but unless she improves, I’m not likely to read another story from Khaliza Khalid.

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Book review: "Son Complex", by Kris Williamson

Writing--or lack thereof

It has been months since I wrote a story or worked on my unfinished novella & novel. It has been months since I wrote a proper blog post (the movie review doesn't count). I have been silent for so long that my precious beta reader, Breanna, is officially worried.

There is a reason why I haven't written, and it's not because my muse left me for another, someone more worthy of her attention. It's not because I doubt myself as a writer--then again, I have always doubted my abilities, and always will no matter what people say, because that's how I was raised. I am convinced that I am not good enough in the things I do, and it's too late to change that mindset.

You see, writing for me is an emotional journey. I spill pieces of my soul in my stories. I cry when I write the sad parts--and almost all my stories have sad parts. I jump at the slightest sounds whenever I write the scary parts. I get lost in my imaginary worlds whenever I write Science Fiction and Fantasy. Most male authors don't emphasize on the emotional journey of characters, but we all know by now that I'm not like most people.

Writing opens up the raw part of my soul that is now tethered to December 4, 2011. My entire life is now defined by the accident. I am scheduled for a court hearing this September; that's never a good sign.

I don't think I have recovered. I don't think I have returned to the land of the living. I know this sounds insensitive because the other driver lost his life that day, but a large chunk of me died in the accident. I was ready to let go.

Here's the truth: I didn't want to live. I didn't want to survive.

I have been meandering ever since. When I put on my doctor mantle, I put on an entirely different persona, and that has helped me from going insane. I need to write again, because through writing, I find my way back to God, and I sorely miss His presence. I need to write again, because through writing, life makes a semblance of sense.

I know some of you will advice me to pray and read the Quran to help me reconcile with my faith, and I love you for that. I'm doing my best, even though it's not much at the moment.

I have PTSD. My psychiatrist has established that diagnosis. I still haven't recovered from it. Maybe I never will.

I want to write again, but every time I even think about writing, I return to that late afternoon when my car spun, where part of my soul died. Even right now, while writing this, I relive the accident.

I want to write again, but I don't know how.

I need to write again, because I need to find my way back.

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I haven't given up on life; I've only stopped living