Another year gone by

New Year's Eve used to mean something. I remember hanging out with Izaac watching fireworks. I remember running up the stairs shouting "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" to my parents and siblings. I also remember mass-messaging friends and relatives, wishing them a great year ahead.

I don't know when this happened, but January 1 is now just another date. If I'm lucky, I'm not on-call. If I have to work, then I'll be at the hospital. This time round, I spent December 31 hitting the gym and running errands, and in the evening baked a white chocolate mudcake for Kasha's birthday. Then I spent the night losing myself in a good ebook without realizing it was already half-past midnight. 2012 flew by and I didn't even notice it.

Not that it's a particularly bad year. That was 2011. I passed my Professional I exam, came back to HKL where I get to enjoy a good Starbucks breakfast almost every day, Faiz got married--finally--and little Ayden was born. Oh. I get to go on a mini-book tour around KL to promote the anthology I'm in. Good things. Excellent things.

Memorable things.

When it comes to celebrations, however, I believe that I am now jaded. Everything has lost its charm. According to my psychiatrist--yes, I have one--this is how I cope with the accident. I repress all forms of emotions. I deny the highs in order to avoid the lows. And you have no idea how deep my despair is. However, repressing my emotions has affected my writing because my writing is all about emotions. It's doing wonders for my day job, because I can be empathic without getting emotionally attached, but still. I miss writing stories.

Well, now that 2013 is here, I might as well forge my way ahead and pray that it'll be a much better year than 2012 already was. I hope I'll finally get my name on the spine of a book, and I hope I'll be doing my own tumor surgeries, InsyaAllah.

Family, friends, people I've come to love. May this new year bring you joy and laughter. May it bring you tears, all of them good. May you find happiness, wherever you are.

Whoever you are.

 

Love always,

Fadz.

Comments

[Yasmin Ilyas]

"Deny the highs to avoid the lows"-something a lot of people can identify with.Happy New year to you.May it be a great start for you.And am looking forwars to get a copy of readings from reading 2 soon.take care=)

yasmin