If we categorize ourselves by social status, then I would say that I was born into a middle-class (or working class) family. Mama worked her ass off to make sure we had everything we needed, but some of the things we wanted (who am I kidding? MOST of the things I wanted) were luxuries we could not afford.
Now that Kasha, Ayis and I pool our income, we've bumped our family to middle-upper. I may splurge like I don't plan to live beyond 40 (that's the plan, actually), but I don't kid myself. I don't belong in the upper class stratum.
One of the things Mama made sure my siblings and I learned is culture. How to carry ourselves in public. How to eat in sequence during buffet: salad & soup, then cold dishes, then main dishes, and finally dessert. How to appreciate and properly use the dry and wet toilet sections. How to say "excuse me". How to open doors for others and give up our seats to someone else without hesitation. The proper manners and bearings she taught us, they're not considered Malaysian culture. Our people, though undoubtedly congenial and somewhat demure, are less refined.
One thing we never dreamed of was art-culture. My siblings and I are naturally talented in the arts, and I guess my parents are too, in their own way. However, we were never prepared to be at home among artsy people and how to behave in an artsy manner.
Imagine my fear when I first did my public reading at Seksan. Luckily I had my whole family with me to be my strength, my safety net. But all those lovely artsy people I had interacted with online, they honestly intimidated me. I didn't feel like I belonged.
Then again, I've never belonged anywhere, have I?
Fast forward to this year. When I found out about the call for submission for "Readings from Readings 2", I threatened my muse to inspire me with an amazing story. I've been running dry, especially since the accident. Now, I'll be honest and admit that I'm a snob when it comes to story submissions. I know that my stories are good and publishable, so I no longer submit to non-paying markets. Getting books instead of monetary payment is not considered payment. Not to Duotrope, at any rate. My submission process is this: professional-paying markets (>USD 0.05 per word) first, then to semi-professional-paying markets (USD 0.01-0.49 per word), and lastly to token-paying markets (<USD 0.01 per word). I sometimes donate the payment back, but I like knowing my stories are good enough for paying markets.
"Readings from Readings 2", however, did not give monetary payment, but 3 copies of the book instead. I ended up buying one at Kinokuniya as I was too excited to read all the pieces to wait for my free copies, but hey. To me, the submission was truly a "for-the-love" process. The two people in the Malaysian-English scene who have been passionately encouraging my efforts are Sharon Bakar and Amir Muhammad. So of course I will always submit my best stories to them regardless the payment.
"Picking Up the Pieces", the second story in the book, started off as one of my Tender Moments. One thing I've learned from this is that expanding a story that has already existed is not a good idea. In the second draft, Sharon and Breanna helped me remove the whole Tender Moments piece and come up with something much stronger.
Why am I confident it's a good story? The piece is meant to be the title story of my (intended) anthology.
Anyway. Culture.
On December 4 we had a KL launch event for the book at Dopple Kafe, Central Market. It was a brilliant experience, but all the artsy people still scared me witless. Last Friday, however, was the one experience I will not trade for anything else: I read an excerpt at Kinokuniya KLCC.
I've haunted Kinokuniya since KLCC opened. It's the best bookshop in Malaysia, bar none. The collection is ginormous, and you're welcomed to sit and read the books and magazines they have to offer. I've always been a reader, but I secretly harbored a dream of joining the ranks of authors on the shelves.
Yeah, now I have two stories at the Malaysian Literature section ("Black and Whites and Other New Short Stories from Malaysia" and "Readings from Readings 2"), but my actual dream is having a book of my own. Baby steps.
When last Friday evening Sharon introduced me as one of the contributing writers, and I saw the recognition in some of the staff members, the euphoria was almost transcendent.
We set up shop in front of the elevator between the "Chick Lit" and the "Fantasy" aisles. At first the audience comprised of other writers and friends, but our presence attracted book-browsers and fellow bibliophiles. Needless to say, I was a nervous wreck. All those strangers stopping by to listen. I cannot begin to describe the deluge of feelings I had at that time.
Well, I can. It was awesomesauce. It was airwolf.
And I felt cultured.
The one thing I had not seen coming was the guy who came up to me after my reading stint, shook my hand, introduced himself, and said, "I love your story. It's amazing. The images it brings in my head...it's amazing."
I was humbled. I am humbled. No monetary payment in the world can ever top that.
Well, maybe it can, especially if said payment can help me buy an apartment in cash. But since at the moment it can't, let's not talk about it.
Cynthia Reed reads "Crimson Starlet", a beautiful story about how family can build you up and break you down. She's also a classy lady with plenty of knowledge and writing experience to share. I love how she acts out some parts when she reads.
(Uncle) Dato' Shanmughalingam reads "Rani Taxis Away". He's the most expressive and engaging reader I've come across (both live and online). I hope to one day be able to publicly read as beautifully as he does.
Lee Eeleen reads "Artificial Rock Aquarium". I love her swagger, her easy confidence, both when she reads and when she interacts face-to-face. Oh yeah. I love her accent, too.
Saras Manickam (author of "Will You Let Him Drink the Wind?"--and turns out to be one of my colleague's aunt) reads Thato Ntshabele's "Asphyxia". Her own story is a beautiful little piece about a man who can never be more than a toddler and how it affects everyone around him. A definite must-read.
Megat Ishak reads "I Can Only See You at Night". He specializes in Horror, but the piece, despite having a ghost, is really a hauntingly beautiful love story (forgive the pun).
Ted Mahsun reads "Pak Sudin's Bicycle". We were kinda excited to have finally met each other during the book launch after years of online interaction. He's more of a geek than I am (I say it in the best of ways, Ted), but you can tell he's at home among artsy people. He's one cool guy I want to chill with & trade gaming stories.
Eileen Lian reads "Staying Alive". The ending is not my cup of tea, but I love how she reads with confidence and character immersion.
Chee Siew Hoong reads "Red Dates". She's one soft-spoken, humble lady, and I love how she gets into character, using "Aunty" voices for the dialogs. This story makes you think, in a good way. I don't fancy stories that end with a question, but if you want to know how to do it right, this piece is a good example.
And this is me, reading "Picking Up the Pieces". You can definitely tell how nervous I was. Hah!
So. I got to hang out with some of the writers, and finally met another published author, Rumaizah Abu Bakar. Her anthology, "The Female Cell", is sold at Kinokuniya. All of them (myself included) are working on a novel or two. And I do hope that our Malaysian-English scene will flourish, will prosper, and that our books are not only contained within the "Malaysian Literature" segment, but among other books of the same genre.
My life as a doctor is vastly different from the one I live as a writer. Alhamdulillah, Allah has blessed me with both lives, and that my family and I can experience culture, be part of the wonderful artsy community.
If you want to meet up with some of the authors, there will be another reading session at Borders The Curve on January 5. Not sure about the time, though. They are all wonderful people. I'm a snob. Then again, I'm a well-adjusted introvert, but an introvert nonetheless. So forgive my apparent inapproachability.
Please support Malaysian-English. "Readings from Readings (1 and 2)" are sold at Kinokuniya, MPH, and Popular has ordered several hundred copies.
At least you weren't embarrassed by a very tall white chick running up after the reading, grabbing your arm, and yelling "I know him! Really! I do! Known him for years!"
;) Kidding. I wouldn't run, I might trip. I would insist on a picture, though.
So glad it was awesome, and I have this feeling that you'll have many more of these, because both you and your stories deserve them.
Posted by: Breanna Teintze | Monday, December 24, 2012 at 01:53 AM