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Saturday, February 18, 2012


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When we were kids, I had always hated you for setting up such a high standard at school; all the teachers will always compare me to all of your achievements and I was afraid to be stuck in your shadows forever. Growing up, I hated the fact that I could not be as good as you.

But at home, mama never forced me or Kak lisha to study as hard as she would forced onto you because she knows better.

Mama always has.

She knows that both of us could not handle the academic pressure as you could. She knows that you're the only hope in the family out of all her 3 children.

Now that we're all grown up, I realized that being your brother is like a privilege everyday. Watching you saving lives, support the family, living out mama's wishes , and still pursuing your dream as a writer and being published for that matter. I know that most people will kill themselves to be in your shoes; I for one.

The thing I admire most about you is that you are able to stay calm and carry on even after you tell other families that you could not save your patience's life. They know you have tried your best. You always have, and you always will. Let's not give up just yet.

I don't remember the title but there is this scene in a movie which that I'd like to quote;

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are; it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winner is done"

I know you're better than that.

Fadzlishah Johanabas

I think I may have cried a little inside when I read your comment.

I believe I was already at the point of breaking; I was the spring coiled so tight it was a matter of time before I snapped. And when I finally did, it was me who ultimately broke myself.

It's easier to pick myself up when someone else did the pushing, as I've learned all my life. But now that I can only blame myself, I don't know where to go from here.

Whatever it is, regardless my mind and soul will mend or not, thank you, kiddo.

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