Murky Clarity

Sex. Ed.

In an ideal world, everyone is at peace with one another. There is no war, no hunger, no discrimination. All parents love and educate their children to be better people. People respect the quirks of others. People are understanding. People are tolerant.

But we do not live in an ideal world. In fact, the world is broken. Worse, all of us are broken inside, but we refuse to see it. We build layers upon layers of walls to protect ourselves from the unknown, from all that is different. We fear what we do not know, but instead of educating ourselves, we usually choose the easier path: blind hatred.

Recently there are talks about the banning of Seksualiti Merdeka, a local annual sexuality rights festival. Thanks to social media, everyone who has access to the internet can chirp--or rather, tweet--their opinions regarding the matter. Heck, it's even trending on Twitter (#SeksualitiMerdeka). Sadly, like what is expected when it comes to LGBT (lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered) issues, if you show your support, you are abandoning the moral values of your religion and your country. If you fight against it, you are a bigot. People on the fence are generally quiet, for they fear being labeled as one or the other.

Why must it always be one or the other?

People don't wake up one day and decide to be gay. If only things were that simple. Sigmund Freud stated that all normal people have a certain measure of latent or unconscious homosexuality; however, sexual preference inverses during the development (early) stages of life (Oedipus Complex)¹. It is therefore difficult to fully blame genetics or to fully blame childhood development (environmental factor) for one's sexual preference. Also note that psychiatrists and psychologists use homosexuality and bisexuality as an inversion of sexual preference, as opposed to perversion, which connotes a pathology.

In essence, people do not choose to be homosexual or bisexual, just as they cannot choose their gender or the family they're born into. They simply are. Homosexuality is not a disease; people do not contract it by interacting with homosexual individuals.

So, the big question here: is being a homosexual a sin?

Is it a sin for a person to have naturally red hair, or green eyes? Is it a sin for a person to be genetically predisposed to obesity and heart diseases? Is it a sin for a person to have perfect teeth and unearthly beauty?

Again, is being a homosexual a sin, if a person naturally prefers the same sex (or both)?

Before you answer that, think about these situations:

1. Certain individuals with schizophrenic personality disorders have homicidal tendencies. They can't help themselves from having urges to kill. Are they called murderers if they start killing animals? No. They are murderers once they start killing humans. Even then, defense lawyers can claim that due to their psychosis, these individuals cannot be called murderers.

 2. More often than the first example, certain otherwise normal individuals have urges to steal things, big or small. While for most of us, the thought is fleeting, some people cannot help themselves from having urges to steal. These urges do not make them thieves. Once they act on the impulses, however, that's a different story.

No, I'm not saying that having homosexual tendencies without acting on them makes a person straight. I'm saying that it might not be a sin to be. How is it fair to prosecute and discriminate people for being who they are, for something they never asked for in the first place?

Is the act of homosexuality sinful? All major religions and laws are clear about it. So are extramarital sex, adultery, and abortion without a life-threatening situation. Heck, in Islam, smoking is haram, absolutely not allowed, absolutely sinful, but we see imams smoking in front of their children.

Speaking of smoking, let's discuss it. I think I've talked about this in my much earlier post, but I'm allowed to do a public service announcement, right? The chemicals in a cigarette are harmful. In a worldwide study done in 2000, 91% lung cancer deaths in men and 71% in women were attributed to smoking². 15% of lung cancer deaths occur in non-smokers, attributed to passive smoking. This means that if one person in a household smokes in front of the family, that person risks exposing his/her family to carcinogens (cancer-inducing agents). Smoking is detrimental to health in many ways. Unfortunately, parents smoke in front of their children, and children grow up accepting smoking as a norm. Heck, when Mama told Faiz to quit smoking, he replied that he'd stop smoking only if Papa did.

You see, smoking is harmful not only to the smoker, but to people around them. However, since smoking has for a long time been intergrated in our lives, we simply accept smoking even though the act is sinful. Someone's initial opinion on his colleague or friend or prospective date may somewhat change if he finds out that the person smokes, but he knows that the fact doesn't change who the person is. In time he accepts that his friend smokes so long as they respect each other.

But think about this: we see people selling cigarettes to children below 18. We see children in school uniforms smoking in front of their schools. But do you see anyone picketing at Putrajaya or in front of the Parliament building or even petition for an audience with the king to stop this?

We are a nation where people frown upon the mention of sex education. To the adults, teaching about safe sex is equivalent to encouraging teenagers to have sex. We tsk and shake our heads when we read articles about newborns abandoned in trashcans, in drains, in public toilets. We tsk and shake our heads when we read about teenage pregnancy. We tsk and shake our heads, blissfully unaware that our ignorance is the cause of all these horrors. With sex education, children will be equipped with the knowledge to protect themselves from transmittable diseases, from unwanted pregnancy, from being raped by their fathers or uncles. Children will know which channels to go to should anything bad happens to them.

If we cannot handle sex education which is getting more and more important judging from what we come across in the news nowadays, how can we handle acceptance and tolerance toward homosexuality? If parents are convinced that homosexuals are all evil, that they will infect their children with their immorality, then children will grow up blind homophobes. What happens when they find out that a friend they grew up with is gay? I've witnessed years of friendship dissolving because of this blind hatred toward all things gay. I've witnessed parents disowning their children because they're gay.

Like usual, I'm looking at this from all possible perspectives. Homosexual act is a sin, just as theft, murder and adultery. Islam, Judaism and Christianity are religions of the Almighty. We have been taught to accept and follow all the rules to the latter. For over 2000 years such systems have worked and preserved our civilization. If a pious follower accepts homosexuality, what happens then? Is adultery also permissible? Is abortion all right just because the parents are not ready to have a child? Is it all right to perform a prayer while drunk?

These religions are not like Buddhism, where we can pick and choose paths that suit us. We have to accept everything that is taught, because if we learn deeper, we will see the wisdom in each lesson, in each rule. Take one out, and we might as well have anarchy.

I can't say about others, but Islam is a religion of peace and tolerance. Is it humane to beat someone to death just because he's gay? As I said, a person doesn't choose to be gay. Is it justifiable to cause bodily harm to someone for simply being? I've had a patient who had severe head injury because he was beaten by men living near his apartment simply because he was gay. He didn't hurt others, he didn't hit on anyone in his building. He lived with a Caucasian boyfriend, and when that boyfriend was out, people stormed into his apartment and beat him up. How is this justifiable?

But is it also justifiable to flaunt your homosexuality in front of the general public, when we are well known for our Eastern sensibilities? A heterosexual couple kissing in public will turn heads. A homosexual couple kissing in public will not cause a ripple, but a tsunami of adverse reactions. I'm not saying the LGBT community should stay in the shadows. I'm not saying that I'm against a person's right to pursue happiness, but what if one person's happiness comes at a cost of a hundred people's discomfort? Why can't people be sensitive toward others and respect their sensibilities?

People who flaunt what they have usually have something to prove. There is a certain desperation, that they discard thoughts toward others. Think about this. Think hard.

Now let's talk about Seksualiti Merdeka. On their web page, they claim that they are against discrimination toward the LGBT community, that they want to educate the public. This is noble, and I commend their effort. Any kind of discrimination is worthy to be frowned upon. However, this year's gathering has been banned because the organizers did not get a permit. Of course, people can say getting a permit is almost impossible in the first place, but if you believe what you're doing is right, then fight for it. Fight to make such a gathering legal, since your aim is noble. What's happening now is that people are still going ahead with the gathering, legal or not, and from what I gather on Twitter, the original organizer has nothing to do with this. How is this promoting peace and understanding? Reread my last paragraph and think again.

Remember, everyone has a right to be happy, but what happens when that happiness comes at a high price? Also, because of blind hatred and bigotry, people with homosexual tendencies are always in hiding, are always at war with themselves, because they believe homosexuality is a sin, and for that they are sinful, and for that they cannot accept themselves, they cannot obtain peace and happiness within. How high a price is the public willing to pay for their bigotry?

In an ideal world, you can overhear this conversation:

Doctor: Do you smoke?
Patient: Once in a while.
Doctor: How long and how much?
Patient: Since I started working. Whenever I have a meeting with clients only.
Doctor: You should stop smoking if you don't want to come back with lung cancer. What about alcohol?
Patient: Nope.
Doctor: Married?
Patient: Nope.
Doctor: Straight or gay?
Patient: Gay.
Doctor: I don't think God approves, but it's between you and Him. Sexually active?
Patient: Yup.
Doctor: At least one of us is getting some. Safe sex?
Patient: Yup.
Doctor: Good. Any allergies?
Patient: I had these rashes when I ate an antibiotic last time I had a flu, but I don't know what kind of medication.
Doctor: Drug allergy of unknown type. All right, I'll get the consent form for the surgery, and I'll explain the procedure to you.
Patient: Thanks, doc.

In an ideal world, sexual preference doesn't define a person. He doesn't get discriminated for it, but he doesn't have to flaunt it by joining a parade or anything. It's an accepted part of life, just like cigarette smoking.

We do not live in an ideal world. Far from it. The world is filled with bigots and with insensitive, inconsiderate people. The world is filled with people who refuse to meet halfway, to educate themselves, to understand and to tolerate others for who they are. The world is filled with ignorant idiots.

But this is the only world we have. God has gifted us with the faculty of our minds and the ability to learn, to understand, to accept. We can destroy the world with our ignorance, or we can strive to make our world an ideal one.

Peace be with you.

Always.

 

________________________________________________________

¹Sigmund Freud; International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 1923

²Peto, R et al; Mortality from smoking in developed countries 1950–2000: Indirect estimates from National Vital Statistics, Oxford University Press, 2006

Internationally Local

I have talked about this in my earlier post. While Westerners find the exotic descriptions of Eastern realms alluring, exciting even, they may find Eastern fiction written in perfect English a little disconcerting. After all, only folks whose mother tongue is English are supposed to use its proper form in a proper manner. I've had publishers who were surprised at how polished my submissions were, with minimal editing required. Maybe it's because they get lots of poorly-edited manuscripts and it has nothing to do with my being a Malaysian, but I'll never know, will I?

You'll be surprised how terrible American children's grammar is. Watch "Waiting for Superman", a documentary on how public education in America is failing. I've embedded the trailer here, but seriously. Watch the documentary. It's an eye-opener.

 

 

But I'm not here to talk about reading and education systems. Maybe in another post. MAYBE. If Westerners might find an Easterner's story in perfect English disconcerting, Easterners definitely find an Easterner's story in perfect English pretentious. Weih. This is not Malaysian if you don't use Manglish, la. So what is the Easterner writer to do? He either writes Eastern stories in proper English (dialogs and all) and risks not getting the support of the local community, or he can write using local English--in my case Manglish--that limits his readership to local readers because Westerners can't understand what's written. Examples:

1. Mana ada. If you try one more time, sure can one.

2. Macha, borrow me five ringgit can ah? I forgot to bring my wallet.

3. Dei, you sure ah? If you sure, I bantai only la.

Any English-speaking Malaysian/Singaporean would find the three samples natural. Maybe Westerners can decipher what I wrote, maybe not (I'm looking at you, Breanna). One or two sentences can be endearing, but a whole story or a novel using this form of English? No sane Western publisher would want to risk buying the manuscript.

But English stories set in Malaysia but using proper English in both narration and dialog? I've had people complaining that I'm just writing Western stories dressed in Malaysian settings.

Where do I find the solution, then?

In comes Anggun, a beautifully talented Indonesian singer based in France. Listen to her two songs below:

 

"Rose in the Wind"

 

"Snow on the Sahara"

 

Listen to these songs with your eyes closed. Feel the music inside you. Let your body move with the music. I'm not surprised if your body parts that move the most are your fingers, wrists and neck. All three play a major role in traditional Indonesian dances. Anggun sang both songs in perfect English, with clear diction and grammatically correct lyrics. But the songs are inherently Indonesian; there's no mistaking it.

I used to avoid using local settings in my stories because they felt unnatural. English stories should have English (or Western) settings. I also didn't want to write in Manglish because I'm a language pseudo-purist (see article 29 in my previous post). One day some years ago I had an epiphany, an a-ha moment (queue Abba's song, "Knowing Me, Knowing You". I love how they say a-ha). The universal translator. Of course. I read a lot of Fantasy novels, and the characters don't use English. They have their own languages: Common, Elven, Orc, Kelewan, Saurial, Drow and so on. Do we read them in such languages? No. The authors have applied the universal translator, and we read the stories in English. Sure, the only orc who uses perfect English is Shrek, and sure, Tolkien devised complete Dwarven and Elven languages, but the old man was a linguist, whaddaya expect?

So I applied my own universal translator, and my stories are actually Malaysian, using Malay (or Cantonese or Tamil, depending on the characters), but readers see the words in English. Malaysian readers don't appreciate this and insist that I'm just dressing my Western stories in Malaysian settings, but I don't really write for others. I write for myself, and publishing is just a means of sharing my works--hey, if I can get paid for my stories, why not? I've garnered a few fans along the way (I'm still surprised at this), but I also have a few haters. You can't please everyone, eh?

Unfortunately, what I face as a writer is indifference. I will never use the "it's because I'm Asian/person of color" card. Almost all the stories I submitted are bought. I believe in my ability as a writer, and I also believe that good stories are good stories regardless the color of the writer or the characters. Seriously. When I pick up a book by an author I don't know, I check out the cover, read the teaser, and flip the pages to breathe in the musk of the book. If the scent feels right, I buy the book. Sure, I don't always get the feeling right, and I've bought books I didn't finish because they're so terrible, but I only look up the author if I love the story and want to find more stories from said author. I'm sure a lot of people do the same. They don't go to bookstores to look specifically for books from female/gay/POC authors, unless they're on an assignment. This is why I find people whining and complaining about how POC authors are sidelined annoying.

Back to my valid complaint. Homegrown talents venturing into areas local people are not used to are usually ignored. This is a good thing, because sometimes they get ridiculed. But, Malaysians being Malaysians, homegrown talents who seek comfort between the teats of other countries and make a name there are suddenly recognized and celebrated by Malaysians everywhere. Cases in point: Tash Aw, Michelle Yeoh, Zee Avi, to name a few.

I have published 20 short stories at respectable venues, covering a wide array of genres, including Mainstream, Horror, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Romantic Contemporary and Young Adult. I've been at this since 2009, but when Malaysians write articles about Malaysian-English writers, I'm invisible to them. A writer who has published one or two short stories in the span of 5 years gets more media coverage. Only two people who carry weight in the Malaysian-English publishing world have acknowledged my existence: Sharon Bakar and Amir Muhammad.

But how can I complain if my own sister doesn't read my stories?

Although I don't really care about my own people's indifference toward my contributions in Malaysian-English literature, I think it'd be cool if Malaysian readers who are looking for Malaysian-English stories get to read mine. It'd be cool if my stories are dissected, discussed and reviewed. If a class in a Singaporean high school can discuss about one of my stories, why not a class in Malaysia?

I don't expect to make a living out of writing, and I have a love-hate relationship with my day job, so I don't have that desperate urge to publish stories and novels. I write to express myself, to put in words the emotions that roil inside me. I write to find the calm that eludes me most of the time. I write to make sense of my complicated life. I write for me. I'm self-centered this way.

I also like challenges. I wonder how it feels to win literary awards. I wonder if the invisibility shroud will slip away and the Malaysian-English publishing world will finally see me then.

I have an elephant memory. I remember and appreciate the people who have been supporting me when I'm still a nobody in the publishing world. I also remember those who don't. I'm vindictive this way.

Okay. Now, something new to reflect on. Check out Anggun's new song:

 

"In Your Mind"

 

It's an okay song. You may want to sway your hips, but gone is the urge to move your fingers in awkward motions. Gone is the urge to flick your wrists, to move your neck. This song has no shred of Indonesia in it. It's generic, something you can get from Beyonce and Shakira. It's not exotic. It's not uniquely Anggun.

Here's the dilemma: should Anggun limit herself to an Indonesian-English niche that has gone international, or should she venture out but lose her inherently Indonesian identity?

To me, it doesn't matter which path she chooses, as long as she remains true to herself, as long as she remembers she is Anggun (which is Malay/Indonesian for alluring). Some people will love her, some will hate her, while a lot more remain indifferent.

I personally prefer haters over indifferent people. Haters at least read my works. Haters at least spread the word so that curious people will read my works to find out what's so wrong about it.

I won't bitch about the international community, because they've done nothing but support my efforts. Publishers buy my stories, random people approach me on Facebook to comment on what they like about my stories, and folks who are even more random have listed me on databases such as Library Thing and Goodreads. It's the local folks who are mostly indifferent.

Not you. You've read this far, haven't you? You have shown your support. I thank you for it.

I don't want to be one of those people who have to make a name internationally to be recognized locally. I want to be able to write 'based in Kuala Lumpur' in my author's bio, but I can't do it alone. I can't do it without support from local people.

To make money, you have to have money first (don't get technical on me). To gain recognition, you have to be recognized first.

Something to think about.

Spread the love. Spread the word.

You have my eternal thanks.